Sometimes I make a really funny joke and everyone gets a good laugh, sometimes I make a joke and I'm the only one to laugh.
Sometimes I say things that are really clever and poignant, other times I say things that are inappropriate (like the time I got on a bus to go to the Britney Spears concert and saw there weren't any places to sit, but there were 2 rows of seats folded up and shouted "how is anyone supposed to sit there?" only to look beyond the folded seats and see a handicapped girl in a wheelchair...if you're out there girl, keep rollin')
Sometimes I can drink a lot and not be sloppy, most of the time I drink a lot I become an incoherent mess.
Sometimes I get crazy on the dance floor, those times I look like a child having an epileptic seizure (SOMEONE STOP ME FROM HUMILIATING MYSELF!)
Sometimes I use big words with many syllables that would be worth a lot of points if I were playing "words with friends", most of the time I'd rather curse like a sailor.
Sometimes I go to the gym and have a good workout (if I sweat a little, it's considered good to me) most of the time I just pretend to skip a meal and call it a diet.
Sometimes I have the will power to stop myself from drunkenly making out with any guy who asks me my name, most of the time I make out with him anyway, and then forget his name.
Sometimes I act like a responsible adult (I pay my bills, do my laundry) most of the time I procrastinate being responsible (I pay my bills late, I wait until I run out of underwear to do my laundry)
Sometimes I can be really girlie and do my makeup, blow dry my hair maintain a manicure/pedicure, wear underwear, not have my bra show, but I'd always much rather put my hair in a braid to the side of the head, not have to worry about my eyeliner smudging, and go commando. (What? At least I shave...sometimes)
Venn Diagram to follow...
Monday, December 19, 2011
Motivational Speech to Myself...
You may be wondering "why does this girl take so long to post a new entry?" Oh, you weren't wondering that? Hm, maybe I should stop feeding my ego, and while I'm at it, stop feeding myself. It is not surprising to me that I have recently gained a number (I'm not sure exactly but I'm rounding up to 10) of pounds of extra body mass. I know because I feel it, and because my pants are tight and I have been avoiding any sort of constraints for the past week. Once you get into the lifestyle that comes with being chubby it's hard to start a diet to lose the weight. It's been so long since I've gone to the gym I've long forgotten where I stuffed my sports bra and my sneakers. WHERE IS MY MOTIVATION?? I'm wondering if I will just wait until I can no longer see my feet beyond my bulging belly that then I will finally say "fat frannie, seriously? you cannot even see your lovely child-like feet over this large barrell belly, it's time to stop with the bagel bites and pick up a protein shake and get yourself on that goddamn elliptical machine!"
I think I just suffer from lack of motivation aka procrastination aka laziness. I'll start a new diet, in January...what is really the point in holding back during the holidays...this gut is going to just hang loose and I will just continue to wear large mumu dresses until I find my sneakers and put down the pie.
I think I just suffer from lack of motivation aka procrastination aka laziness. I'll start a new diet, in January...what is really the point in holding back during the holidays...this gut is going to just hang loose and I will just continue to wear large mumu dresses until I find my sneakers and put down the pie.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Things to look forward to this Fall (see also: "How I will keep myself from committing suicide")
But first an ode/farewell to the fall/summer (respectively) wardrobes:
"Oh, riding boots of leather, how I have missed thee, now you can protect my poor little (child-like) feet from the filth of the New York streets I subjected you to by wearing sandals for 4 months. Welcome back black tights, I am so happy to throw away my razor and hide my unshaved legs from public sight. So long summer dresses, September has tucked you away along with flip flops and cut off shorts (that I never wore anyway because my thighs do not fit and I refuse to make it look like my crotch is eating the shorts from the inner to outer thigh, WHY GIRLS?) and, no, they are not acceptable to be worn with said black tights, ew, really? Adios espadrilles, 'ello hound-sooth. It shall be a lovely autumn indeed.
The days are getting shorter, not time wise, I still have to sit at my desk for at least 8 hours, pretending to do "work"...but while sitting at my desk, I look out of the window, and from that window I look into the window of another building (I work in the city with the best views and I'm on the 5th floor, I got nothing) but I see that it is getting darker earlier and that makes me sad in one way, but happy in another (am I bi-polar? or am I manic-depressive?) I look forward to pumpkin spice EVERYTHING! but mostly there is a crisp, refreshing, clean smell to the fall, a welcome change from the putrid smell of the garbage lined sidewalks throughout the New York streets.
Fall is also a time of reflection, I think back to the summer that just passed and all of the good and bad (there was a lot of bad in particular this summer) I think back to the other summers of my life that have kept me laughing for years and it gives me things to look forward to, to hope for. I'm not sure when you are really supposed to become an adult (post-college, I think) but I think things are finally starting to settle in, I'm becoming aware of my responsibilities and that I should allow myself to care about things (important things, like my actions affect more than myself and there are consequences, that there is more than going out and partying)
I know this veers off my topic, but I'm a stream of conscience person and as I am typing this, I am watching the 9/11 Bush Interview, today is September 9th, as I am watching this I am thinking about how long a decade really is, 10 years is a lot to go through. 10 years ago I was 14, it was my first day of high school, I knew nothing of the world. I was sheltered. I was lucky. I didn't lose anyone. I'm thinking now how many of friends and myself work in the city, my best friends work in lower Manhattan (I'm in Midtown near Times Square) would I have lost my friends? what would have happened to me? On Sunday, the 10th Anniversary of September 11th I will ride my bike along with many coworkers from Adecco for our Bike4Youth Charity, which will raise money for the Children of September 11th. I was a kid back then, and now I'm not, these are children who live in a world where they lost their innocence long before they should have. New York is the only place I've ever lived, it is the only place I'd ever want to live. New York, I love you.
"Oh, riding boots of leather, how I have missed thee, now you can protect my poor little (child-like) feet from the filth of the New York streets I subjected you to by wearing sandals for 4 months. Welcome back black tights, I am so happy to throw away my razor and hide my unshaved legs from public sight. So long summer dresses, September has tucked you away along with flip flops and cut off shorts (that I never wore anyway because my thighs do not fit and I refuse to make it look like my crotch is eating the shorts from the inner to outer thigh, WHY GIRLS?) and, no, they are not acceptable to be worn with said black tights, ew, really? Adios espadrilles, 'ello hound-sooth. It shall be a lovely autumn indeed.
The days are getting shorter, not time wise, I still have to sit at my desk for at least 8 hours, pretending to do "work"...but while sitting at my desk, I look out of the window, and from that window I look into the window of another building (I work in the city with the best views and I'm on the 5th floor, I got nothing) but I see that it is getting darker earlier and that makes me sad in one way, but happy in another (am I bi-polar? or am I manic-depressive?) I look forward to pumpkin spice EVERYTHING! but mostly there is a crisp, refreshing, clean smell to the fall, a welcome change from the putrid smell of the garbage lined sidewalks throughout the New York streets.
Fall is also a time of reflection, I think back to the summer that just passed and all of the good and bad (there was a lot of bad in particular this summer) I think back to the other summers of my life that have kept me laughing for years and it gives me things to look forward to, to hope for. I'm not sure when you are really supposed to become an adult (post-college, I think) but I think things are finally starting to settle in, I'm becoming aware of my responsibilities and that I should allow myself to care about things (important things, like my actions affect more than myself and there are consequences, that there is more than going out and partying)
I know this veers off my topic, but I'm a stream of conscience person and as I am typing this, I am watching the 9/11 Bush Interview, today is September 9th, as I am watching this I am thinking about how long a decade really is, 10 years is a lot to go through. 10 years ago I was 14, it was my first day of high school, I knew nothing of the world. I was sheltered. I was lucky. I didn't lose anyone. I'm thinking now how many of friends and myself work in the city, my best friends work in lower Manhattan (I'm in Midtown near Times Square) would I have lost my friends? what would have happened to me? On Sunday, the 10th Anniversary of September 11th I will ride my bike along with many coworkers from Adecco for our Bike4Youth Charity, which will raise money for the Children of September 11th. I was a kid back then, and now I'm not, these are children who live in a world where they lost their innocence long before they should have. New York is the only place I've ever lived, it is the only place I'd ever want to live. New York, I love you.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Revamping this old thing...and my life
Yes, it has been several months since I've decided to write out an entry, mostly because I was hanging out under a very dark cloud, which was providing me with no good material. But now I have a new(er) lease (actually I don't really know how leases work, technically, but I like the cliche) on life. I decided it was 8 months too early to begin focusing on my quarter life crisis, but I refuse to hold back on complaining, life is insanely more fun when you get to complain about everything from the extra five pounds you gained over the summer (I should have cut those damn carbs!) to the lack of money in your savings account (no, you will never get to move out of your parents' house if you spend all of your money on clothes, food and drinking) to the fact that you STILL do not have a boyfriend (sorry mom!) But I will try to balance the complaining with my hilarious wit and insightful observations. I also noticed other people put pictures on their blogs so I think I will copy that and pretend like it was a great idea I had. Please don't expect the pictures to be good.
Originally, I was only going to tell tall tales about my dating life, but lately that has been rather boring, so I think I can mix a little bit of everything in here. I recently went through a very dramatic situation which really caused me to think about the things and the people who matter to me, and I discovered (although I always knew) that I have the most amazing friends in the entire world (seriously, I would do a survey but it would only prove me right). I also learned that relationships (of every size, color, and shape) take a lot of work, especially being honest and being able to communicate one's feelings. Anyone who has ever known me (and I mean really known me, not just made out with me before knowing my last name) knows I have major issues expressing my feeling. It makes me terribly uncomfortable, much like what I imagine a yeast infection to feel like, I discovered this is because I am terrified of what the other person will say in reply to me, there is an awful lot involved in opening up. I also realize this is a trait that many girls have, but I am not like many girls (so I've been told, not recently however, sadface) I digress, biggest life lesson learned this summer: Be honest with yourself first and with those around you, don't be naive and think that people close to you can't hurt you (they can, and it hurts a million times worse than passing a kidney stone, or so I imagine), but lastly BE THANKFUL FOR THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE WHO ARE IN YOUR LIFE.
I love you girls <3
Originally, I was only going to tell tall tales about my dating life, but lately that has been rather boring, so I think I can mix a little bit of everything in here. I recently went through a very dramatic situation which really caused me to think about the things and the people who matter to me, and I discovered (although I always knew) that I have the most amazing friends in the entire world (seriously, I would do a survey but it would only prove me right). I also learned that relationships (of every size, color, and shape) take a lot of work, especially being honest and being able to communicate one's feelings. Anyone who has ever known me (and I mean really known me, not just made out with me before knowing my last name) knows I have major issues expressing my feeling. It makes me terribly uncomfortable, much like what I imagine a yeast infection to feel like, I discovered this is because I am terrified of what the other person will say in reply to me, there is an awful lot involved in opening up. I also realize this is a trait that many girls have, but I am not like many girls (so I've been told, not recently however, sadface) I digress, biggest life lesson learned this summer: Be honest with yourself first and with those around you, don't be naive and think that people close to you can't hurt you (they can, and it hurts a million times worse than passing a kidney stone, or so I imagine), but lastly BE THANKFUL FOR THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE WHO ARE IN YOUR LIFE.
I love you girls <3
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