Things I like about myself vs. Things I hate about myself

Sometimes I make a really funny joke and everyone gets a good laugh, sometimes I make a joke and I'm the only one to laugh.
Sometimes I say things that are really clever and poignant, other times I say things that are inappropriate (like the time I got on a bus to go to the Britney Spears concert and saw there weren't any places to sit, but there were 2 rows of seats folded up and shouted "how is anyone supposed to sit there?" only to look beyond the folded seats and see a handicapped girl in a wheelchair...if you're out there girl, keep rollin')
Sometimes I can drink a lot and not be sloppy, most of the time I drink a lot I become an incoherent mess.
Sometimes I get crazy on the dance floor, those times I look like a child having an epileptic seizure (SOMEONE STOP ME FROM HUMILIATING MYSELF!)
Sometimes I use big words with many syllables that would be worth a lot of points if I were playing "words with friends", most of the time I'd rather curse like a sailor.
Sometimes I go to the gym and have a good workout (if I sweat a little, it's considered good to me) most of the time I just pretend to skip a meal and call it a diet.
Sometimes I have the will power to stop myself from drunkenly making out with any guy who asks me my name, most of the time I make out with him anyway, and then forget his name.
Sometimes I act like a responsible adult (I pay my bills, do my laundry) most of the time I procrastinate being responsible (I pay my bills late, I wait until I run out of underwear to do my laundry)
Sometimes I can be really girlie and do my makeup, blow dry my hair maintain a manicure/pedicure, wear underwear, not have my bra show, but I'd always much rather put my hair in a braid to the side of the head, not have to worry about my eyeliner smudging, and go commando. (What? At least I shave...sometimes)

Venn Diagram to follow...