Once again, I have fallen into Blogatory, where I have not written and basically we are all left in limbo. I know, no one has laughed since December. It's been a cruel, cruel, cruel winter. But why waste time regretting not having written the world's best stories and just write one? Because I have a number of issues, too many to list, I tried once-like my face in the morning, after a night of drinking, it was not pretty. But I digress...here is a funny story, that is also, not pretty.
This is a story that I have now told a few times and I have been told that others have shared this story with their friends and it has become "oral"...which is what shit was before "viral", but now I'm bringing it into the 21st century and putting it online. As many know, I have some questionable luck with dating; I like to be a good sport and date everyone (not in a bad way) but I never really know who I might end up clicking with so when someone offers to set me up with a friend, I go for it; this was one of those times. I don't want to slander anyone, especially because this guy is very nice and I was set up through a colleague which can always be fishy, but here it goes: photos were slyly shown to one another and it was agreed the two of us would like to meet, the initial introduction was set up for a post-work happy hour to alleviate any tension/awkwardness but upon hearing that I was being set up, my co-workers wanted to tag along, which worked for me..everything went smoothly, we sat down next to one another and talked about books and got along, he was sweet and asked for my number and I heard from him a few days later. It took a few weeks but we finally decided to go on an official date, so I took some initiative and suggested Cafe Wha? in the Village to listen to some live music, so we met again and had a great time...we walked to my train station, he gave me a quick kiss (no frenching) and I was home shortly after that, now I'll say that he lives over an hour and 2 bridge crossings away..distance isn't something that really bothers me but I need to feel like traveling to see someone is going to be worth it...which I still wasn't sure about, but he was willing to meet me in the city so it was working, for now. Our second date was supposed to be dinner, however it ended up falling on the same night as a co-worker's going away party that included a bottle of vodka and karaoke, he had made reservations at a restaurant so I met him there, and after waiting for about 30 minutes, I confronted the rude hostess who simply told me "we are very busy, obviously", OBVIOUSLY betch...SO we walked across the street and ordered a bunch of appetizers, again, good conversations, and a quick kiss (no french) and I was home.
Then came my brilliant idea to go on a double date with AB and MA, it was restaurant week in the city and I thought it'd be nice to go to a fancy dinner at a discounted price and spend some time with friends (and I wanted their opinion) so plans are set and I make reservations. We all meet at the Dream Hotel and sit in a really nice booth and have an amazing meal...........and then the bill comes. He looks at it and then passes it to MA who quickly does the calculation to split among the 2 men and says, "$170 each" to which, my date opens his wallet, looks at his cash, announces to the table "Um, I only have $91 in cash" and then fumbles with his wallet and puts it away. I immediately feel the color flush to my face, and I had to think quick and I said "I can put it on my card", at this point if you are expecting and objection from my date, you are mistaken, he looked over at me and said "Thanks, I owe ya one"....MA left the cash for him and AB, which I took and placed my credit card in the bill holder. Some time passes and the waiter comes over and asks for the cardholder to sign prior to it being charged, so I have to announce that it is my credit card and I sign and then the bill is paid, and I am $170 poorer. We end up staying at the bar for a drink which AB so generously gets for me, because at this point everyone except for my date is embarrassed about what just happened. I have my shoulder to him and I am only talking to AB and MA and we are carrying on our usual banter. The night was still young so we decide to walk over to the Gaslight for another cocktail. The crowd was very much off and it wasn't really our scene but after a long pause, my date offers to buy us "the first round", this was the only round. I try my best to avoid eye contact with him for fear that I might just turn and run out. We decide to leave and he says "Where are we off to next?"....It took all the strength I had not to fall apart...and say "Did you really think you were going to have an entire night out on $90?" I am not a fancy person and I am only materialistic with things that I buy for myself, but I don't think it was too much to ask for to have dinner paid for on a 3rd date which happened to include one of my best friends and her boyfriend. As we walked to the train station, we made small talk and I wanted to run down the stairs but I had to say 'bye', I tried to make it as quick as possible and I was horrified at his presumption that I would want to kiss him on the mouth after being so weird the entire night (I gave him the cheek, and he said "What was that?" So against my better judgment I just gave a quick kiss on the lips and rushed down the stairs to the subway. As soon as the train came above ground, I had a text message that our vibe was off tonight (no shit), after speaking to the friend who set us up (who was horrified with what happened) I expected an apology, but nope, nothing. He left on his ski trip and I did not hear anything from him up until Valentine's Day where I saw on my phone in the afternoon, a text, "Hi, happy valentine's day".
I am still single.
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